Star Trek: The Motion Picture (1979)

I didn't mean for this to happen. I only watched the 2009 Star Trek movie on TV this year so that I wouldn't be completely lost when my friends organised a trip to see Into Darkness at the cinema. But something about the USS Enterprise and her crew caught at my imagination, and I'd be at work on a quiet day and find myself staring into space, thinking about Spock and Kirk and all the rest. No! I told myself, There is a line, and once you've crossed it, once you've got into Star Trek, there's no going back. Yet I went to my friend Sam, who has always been a bit of a Trekkie and conveniently owns most of the boxsets, and borrowed the first Original Series season. I planned to watch the first Original Series, and the first Next Generation series, and maybe a few odd episodes she could recommend for me, just to get an overview of the story. And then, somehow I found myself watching all three seasons in as many months. Perhaps part of me, subconsciously, always knew I could not watch Star Trek casually, because for me there are no half measures: I am either indifferent to a story world or utterly engrossed in it. And in Star Trek, there are a lot of worlds to get engrossed in.

It was my birthday last week, and one of my presents from my parents was the boxset of the first ten Star Trek movies. (6 with the original cast, 3 with the Next Generation cast, and Generations, which features both.) I don't plan to rush through the films as I did with the series, because I have become very attached to Kirk, Spock, McCoy, et al, and though I'm excited about getting to know Captain Picard (do I need to know anything other than that he is Patrick Stewart?) and crew, I don't feel quite ready to see the Enterprise without the characters I've grown to love.

The Motion Picture opens several years after we last met Kirk and the crew. In the TV series, not a lot changed from week to week; you could watch the episodes in any order, as the status quo was always restored by the end of the story, no matter who got married, wounded or fatally ill. (Except for the fallen redshirts, who tended to remain dead, Jim! So it is interesting to come back to the 'verse some time after the five-year mission has ended. The central trio of the cast have all gone their separate ways. James T. Kirk has been promoted to Admiral, and yet his heart still belongs to the Enterprise. (I felt that there was a sort of sadness in this renowned officer yearning for his past glories.) Spock has returned to his home planet of Vulcan, where he is attempting to get rid of those pesky things called emotions once and for all. But something calls to him from among the stars, and apparently he is not as coldly detached as he'd let on. Also, he is in serious need of a haircut.

One can only hope there is a decent Starfleet barber, because Spock is not alone in needing his services. Doctor "Bones" McCoy makes his first appearance with a pretty terrible beard. For reasons undisclosed, McCoy has put his Starfleet days behind him, where he wants them to stay. It was hinted in some episodes that McCoy's life was not what he had hoped for. He did his duty as ship's chief medical officer, uncomplaining (well... often complaining, but not feeling sorry for himself) yet never really happy. I suppose his friendship with Jim (and, though he'd never admit to it, Spock) made life aboard the Enterprise more tolerable, but they have since taken different paths. It is not long, however, before the old crew are all back together - Scotty, Uhura, Sulu and Chekov are all right where we left them, and they head off out into the stars to face an unknown foe known as V'Ger, which threatens Earth. It's familiar territory for Star Trek, but the story's conclusion surprised and awed me. It was definitely a story of its era, and I imagine it would have been even more thrilling to have watched at the height of the space age in the 1970s. (This month, too, was a pretty appropriate time to watch the movie for the first time.)

I had been warned that odd-numbered Star Trek films are (to put it politely) not as good as the even-numbers. The Motion Picture was certainly somewhat strange, felt very, very different from the series, and had some strange special effects. I read that it was intended to be a 2001: A Space Odyssey for the 1970s. There are some striking similarities, notably the looooong, indulgent shots of space scenery with grand music (though no monkeys and no freaky giant space baby!) It is more atmospheric than plot-driven. Yes, it is slow, but watching it while knitting at the end of a long day, I found it almost soothing. But I felt that the characters were underused; the relationships between the central trio were strained and awkward, perhaps because they had been apart for so long.

When Spock returned to the Enterprise, you could cut the atmosphere with a knife. Instead of his usual cold disdain, Spock seemed almost angry to be there. The banter between him and McCoy fell flat. Perhaps it was that the characters had to get used to each other after a long time apart. It had been a while since Spock had been among humans and their strange ways, and maybe their illogical ways reminded him of his recent failure. But upon discovering what a purely logical existence is like, Spock acknowledges and accepts that he does have emotions, and that the Vulcan ideal towards which he has been striving his whole life is not what he wants after all. Which emotions, specifically? Which "simple feeling?" It is most unlike Spock to be so vague, but then, so is speaking of emotions as anything other than a failing of character. It is not a subject that comes easily to him, while clasping Kirk's hand and looking into his eyes... Subtext? No. Not this time.

Reading up on Star Trek: The Motion Picture online, I was not surprise to find that it is widely disliked. Its 2001-esque pacing verges on the ridiculous at times, and I really missed the depth of character from the TV series. I found it interesting in an experimental sort of way, and quite watchable for a lazy evening, but I would be disappointed if all the films were in this style. Next up: The Wrath of Khan. I have high expectations for that one. Also tissues.

Half-Sick of Shadows - David Logan

When Edward Pike and his sister Sophia were five years old, Sophia made a promise to their severe and intimidating father that she would never abandon her mother, and never leave home. And so, she never does, inferring something terrible must happen if she ever breaks her word. Even when the memory of the promise has faded, Sophia will not leave the Manse (which is a misnomer; there is no church for miles, although the house backs onto a graveyard); not to go to the next village, or to school, or visiting. At five, perhaps that is little sacrifice. As far as the twins are concerned, the Manse is the world, and the family are its people. But soon, the twins are parted when Edward is sent to boarding school. Here, he excels academically, if not socially, but the thought of Sophia and her self-imposed "curse" is never far from his mind.

What struck me most about Half-Sick of Shadows was that time does not seem to fit properly. Edward's childhood memories of the Manse read rather like a country childhood at some point in the early twentieth century. The Manse is vividly brought to life as a grim, gloomy stone house, freezing cold with no electricity and no plumbing; an isolated place miles from anywhere. Progress does come as Edward grows up, with the building of a motorway, colour television and popular culture references - but even these contain curious anachronisms, not quite fitting into a single time. Decades seem to pass in the space of ten or fifteen years of Edward's life, and I'm not convinced they can be entirely explained by the Manse being horribly old-fashioned.

"As a child, I never knew whether the world lay east, west, north or south of the Manse; I only knew that the Manse never seemed to me like part of it."

Half Sick of Shadows was the joint winner of the Terry Pratchett prize or, to give its full title, the Terry Pratchett "Anywhere but here, Anywhen but now" prize. That seems to describe the Manse's setting perfectly: it is a world that is not quite the world we know, although I would be hard pressed to explain exactly why. Pratchett even drops hints (or outright spoilers) in his foreword that David Logan's novel is indeed set in an alternative universe - though "the people on an alternate Earth don't know that they are; after all, you don't." 

And then you remember the strange encounter of the very first chapter, in which Edward meets a man in a so-called time machine, and wonder how you could forget such a fantastical scene which doesn't seem to lead anywhere in this brooding story about childhood, family, home, and the loss of innocence. The event lingers as a shadowy memory, another example of something uncanny about Edward's world, but as you read about his ordinary life, his family, his schooldays and aspirations and everyday struggles, like him, you almost forget.

"The mystery of the stranger and his time machine puzzled me for as long as the memory of it lasted, which, when you're stupidly young, isn't long. I'd more or less forgotten about it by strawberry jam on toast and sweet tea time."

Half-Sick of Shadows defies genre classification, containing some elements of science fiction and horror, but not enough of either to describe it accurately. The story's potential overflows out of the 363 pages which make up the novel. Whole chapters, perhaps even more volumes, could be filled with the subplots and almost-unanswered questions. Logan divides Edward's life into three segments: "Before Alf," "The Alf Years" and "Alf Unleashed" - Alf being Edward's mysterious schoolfellow that only he seems able to see, and who might or might not be exactly real. As far as the narrative is concerned, Alf is the defining feature of Edward's childhood and youth, but Edward himself does not seem to notice him until the final section, when his role in Edward's life is revealed.

I felt that the novel was let down a little by its final hundred pages or so. The story seemed to get a little carried away, as Edward and his family get embroiled deeper and deeper in too many macabre plot turns, which were rushed through at top speed. It was all a bit too much. Aside from that quibble, Half-Sick of Shadows is a gothic masterpiece: shifting, shadowy, unsettling and occasionally shocking. It is beautifully written, poignant and poetic, and really captures a child's understanding of the world, which, though it may not be informed by the necessary knowledge to be quite accurate, is logical in its own way, and makes perfect sense to the perceiver.

If you enjoyed this, you might like:

The Ocean at the End of the Lane - Neil Gaiman
The Earth Hums In B Flat - Mari Strachan

A-Z bookish survey

I've seen this questionnaire doing the rounds on several blogs lately, and couldn't resist having a go myself. I personally "borrowed" it from Susan, Laura and Sarah, but it originated from Jamie the Perpetual Page Turner. And now it's my turn:

Author you’ve read the most books from: In my lifetime, almost certainly Enid Blyton. Her books take up most of a crate under my spare bed: Famous Five, Malory Towers, Secret Seven, etc. etc. As a teen or adult - probably Terry Pratchett, though I haven't even read all of the Discworld series.

Best Sequel Ever: Um... most of my favourite books are stand-alones, or series which I love equally. Perhaps Catching Fire.

Currently Reading: Quiet by Susan Cain and The Shining Girls by Lauren Beukes. One is a psychology book about introverted people and how we are going to stealthily take over the world, and the other is a thriller about a time-travelling serial killer.

Drink of Choice While Reading: Coffee, in a big mug, though lately I've been switching to tea as an attempt to cut down on caffeine.

E-reader or Physical Book? Physical book all the way. I can see the uses of e-readers, but I can't love them.

Fictional Character You Probably Would Have Actually Dated In High School: You think anyone would have dated me at high school? Maybe Neville Longbottom?

Glad You Gave This Book A Chance: Ready Player One by Ernest Cline. Everyone was telling me to read it, but I wasn't convinced... till I started reading it.

Hidden Gem Book: Tell The Wolves I'm Home by Carol Rifka Brunt. A book I picked up because I liked the cover; it just happened to be the book I needed to read at that time.

Important Moment in your Reading Life: Being given a copy of Anne of Green Gables for my eighth birthday. Anne Shirley was the first person I encountered in a book who just seemed to get what it was like to be me: to be scatty and accident-prone and living more in the world of the imagination than reality.

Just Finished: Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone - though "just" is stretching it a bit. I've been on my current books for a while.

Kinds of Books You Won’t Read: Romance (except occasionally), misery memoirs, any of those books with black and grey covers.

Longest Book You’ve Read: Les Miserables or Gone with the Wind.

Major book hangover because of: A Tale of Two Cities. First time I read it, I was in a coffee shop, and then I went into Borders (RIP) and just wandered around in a daze.

Number of Bookcases You Own: 3: One small, one big, one fancy one with glass doors. (Plus all the books that are packed into cupboards, boxes, piles and wherever else I can stash them.)

 One Book You Have Read Multiple Times: Lord of the Rings.

Preferred Place To Read: In bed!

Quote that inspires you/gives you all the feels from a book you’ve read: "Of course it is happening inside your head, Harry, but why on earth should that mean that it is not real?" - Dumbledore.

Reading Regret: So far I have been unable to get into the Gormanghast stories, though I keep the book on my shelf in hope that one day I'll manage it.

Series You Started And Need To Finish(all books are out in series): Probably the Sherlock Holmes books - I've read them all except the last one or maybe two.

Three of your All-Time Favorite Books: Anne of Green Gables by L. M. Montgomery, Lord of the Rings by J. R. R. Tolkien, and Neverwhere by Neil Gaiman

Unapologetic Fangirl For: Neil Gaiman!

Very Excited For This Release More Than All The Others: I may or may not have done a Gollum impression when I opened up a box at work to see Mr Gaiman's latest kids' book: Fortunately the Milk. Also, I love Cecelia Ahern (my exception to my fluff aversion) and am very much looking forward to her new book, despite its title How to Fall in Love.

Worst Bookish Habit: Reading in the bath.

X Marks The Spot: Start at the top left of your shelf and pick the 27th book: Pink by Lili Wilkinson

Your latest book purchase: Ketchup Clouds by Annabel Pitcher and Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle-Stop Cafe by Fannie Flagg

ZZZ-snatcher book (last book that kept you up WAY late): The Call of Cthulhu and Other Weird Stories by H. P. Lovecraft.

15 Day Book Blogger Challenge: Days fourteen and fifteen

Day 14: What are your deal breakers?

What will make me put a book straight back on the shelf without a second glance?

• Stories about adultery/affairs. Especially if the book is from the point of view of the person having the affair. I'd find it very difficult to respect such a protagonist or have any sympathy for them.
• Narrators describing their appearance in the mirror. "I stare into the glass, and a twenty-something year old woman looks back at me, her brown straight hair framing a round face with an overlarge nose, and eyes that were somewhere between blue and grey." Bleugh! No one thinks like that. It's lazy writing, and it shows that the first thing the writer wants you to know about your heroine (and it's always a woman) is every last detail of what she looks like, because that's the most important thing about a female lead. Don't ever do that. Ever.
• Telling, not showing. I have a thing called the "Danielle Steel test," where I pick up a book, open it at random, and see how far I can read without wanting to hurl it across the room. Generally this is due to descriptions such as: "Jane thought that Kevin was being very unfair." "Sarah might not show it but really she was very fond of her sister." "James wished he could control his temper." Show me, then. Make me believe it.
• Multi-volume novels. Trilogies are in vogue at the moment, particularly in the teen fantasy genre, but I wonder how many are necessary, and how many could, with a bit of editing, be condensed into a single book. If I begin a story, I want to see it through to the end - but if I'm not sure whether I'll like it or not, and if I have to wait three years to reach the end, I'll think twice about whether I'm prepared to commit to the story. I'd prefer series which are one book = one story; related and in order, sure, but which work as stand-alone novels. This one is a difficult thing to categorise, though, because there are some really engrossing series out there, which are worth the years of commitment. (Harry Potter, A Song of Ice and Fire, The Hunger Games.) But if I've read a hundred books since the last installment of the Fairypocolypse Chronicles, will I still care enough to carry on with book 2?
• Books with grey and black minimalist covers, usually featuring ribbons, jewellery, rippling fabric or the like.  You know the ones. It's not prudishness on my part - it's boredom. Less is more.

Day 15: Who are your book blogging mentors?

Anna, Ginger and Smash have been very influential when I found myself becoming involved in the book blogging community, in particular as adult readers of YA fiction. They have run some great regular features, discussion posts and memes, and inspired me to think up new ideas for the blog aside from just the book reviews. (I hadn't actually visited Smash Attack Reads in a while: it now appears to be a collaborative blog with not one but FOUR fantastic bloggers.) Meanwhile, Ellie and Hanna have a more informal approach to blogging, with eclectic mixtures of book reviews and personal posts, which have encouraged me to be more relaxed about blogging even if I don't feel inspired to write a structured review. Rants and reading-journal-format posts also make great blogging. And I've only recently started following Laura and Sarah, whose reviews have inspired me to want to take out my credit card and buy ALL the books.

15 Day Book Blogger Challenge: Day Thirteen

Day 13: Describe one underappreciated book EVERYONE should read.

This is a difficult one. Everyone? I am well aware how different everyone's reading tastes are, so instead I will offer two.

Tell The Wolves I'm Home by Carol Rifka Brunt quietly slipped into the bookshops and libraries earlier this year with the minimum of fuss, but really deserves to have been noticed. It's a quiet sort of story about a teenage girl coming to terms with the death of her beloved uncle. It is a thoughtful, very honest story about family, loneliness, art, unrequited love and growing up, with a family portrait as the centrepiece.

Redshirts by John Scalzi is a must-read for Star Trek fans, or indeed anyone familiar with the trope of the expendable extra whose only function in a story is to die horribly in order to give a sense of peril to the plot. This is their story. The tagline on the front cover reads: "They were expendable... until they started comparing notes."

Warning: this book causes idiotic giggling. Read in public at your own peril! Redshirts is a wonderful parody, "recursive and meta" and completely annihilates the Fourth Wall. I'm not sure if it's objectively good, or whether I enjoyed it because I stumbled upon it at the same time I found myself inadvertantly and bewilderedly falling in love with Star Trek, but it is very clever and the most fun I've had from a book in a long time.

Bout of Books 8.0: Sunday

This morning was a grey, dull day and impossible to wake up. A single coffee wasn't enough, and unfortunately I've been feeling and acting somewhat like a she-Hulk this morning. Sincere apologies to those who were on the receiving end. Have a Nutella cupcake as a peace offering. She-Hulk likes baking cake, apparently.

I haven't done a lot of reading, again, today, because I got stuck writing a new scene for my Rilla of Ingleside adaptation. (Actual writing, guys! Two days in a row!) Where yesterday's work involved a lot of typing up from the original work, reworking speeches and scenes, today I had to use my imagination to flesh out characters who are important in the series but don't have an awful lot of on-screen time in the novel. In particular, though this is the story of the younger generation, I wanted to make Anne and Gilbert still recognizable as the characters countless readers have fallen in love with. In Rilla, they are mostly just Doctor Blythe and his wife: wise and patient and lacking the spark that makes their personalities so, well, them. 

I'm up to the 19th century in Necropolis, which has described the shift in people's attitudes to death over the years, from pragmatic acceptance to sentimentality, from memento mori to lavish memorials. The book also, briefly, told of 23-year-old Jane Webb, author of a book

Set in 2126, in an England that had reverted to absolute monarchy, this featured prototypes for espresso machines, air-conditioning and, most prophetically, 'a communication system that permitted instant world dissemination of news.'

This chick predicted the internet. Why have we never heard of her? And they say there's no place for women in science fiction!

I don't expect to finish Necropolis tonight. I plan to watch a couple of episodes of one of my many box sets, then have an early night. (It may be a bank holiday tomorrow, but I still have to work. Here's hoping for a sunny day so that everyone'll go to the beach and let me make a start on my huge list of things to be done this week.)

All in all, it's been a good readathon. I didn't expect to read all of the books on my list - Cuckoo's Calling and Perdido Street Station are still outstanding - but my to-read pile is starting to look like it's getting under control now. I must rectify that.

Bout of Books 8.0: Saturday

9PM

After a lovely - but too quick - day off with plenty of reading, I was back at work today, where I spent much of the time manning the front till. This is not one of my favourite jobs as I'm not allowed to wander off and get anything productive done, but just have to stand there and serve customers. Most are friendly or neutral - I haven't had any really unpleasant people for a while - but smiling at everyone is tiring. Still, the coming week has plenty of other work to do, and I spent the last part of the afternoon making lists with bullet-points, trying to organise every small detail of what I have to do on each day. (I am a fervent believer in lists. They make the jobs feel less overwhelming, and it is a nice feeling to cross items off.)

I couldn't get to sleep for ages last night, for no one's fault but my own. I tell myself that the computer must go OFF at 10PM on a work night, and that I must wind down with a book for half an hour to an hour before switching off the light, but that time crept to 10.20... 10.30... 10.45... I was in bed by about 11, but my mind was still whirring. So I made a start on my next read: Necropolis by Catharine Arnold. It is a beautifully macabre history of London, the people who died there and the burial rites throughout the centuries. I continued with this book at lunch time, and have got up to the various plague epidemics before the Great Fire of London. Having lived in London for a few years, I do love to find out about the stranger things in its history. It is a very strange city.

I had intended to read more when I got into work, but instead, inspired by the video I watched and shared yesterday, of Neil Gaiman's advice for budding writers, I brushed the cobwebs off an old project: a screenplay adaptation of L. M. Montgomery's Rilla of Ingleside. My recent "work" on this project has been a scene-by-scene outline, but though I hadn't finished the planning, I felt it was time to jump in and actually do some writing. First drafts can be edited, but blank pages can't.

Bout of Books 8.0: Thursday

Today has been another quiet, fairly unremarkable day at work, but I was pleased to unpack the new editions of American Gods and Neverwhere. Of course, it's great when we sell out of my favourite books, because it means I'm getting to share the love, but the shelves feel incomplete without them. And they have new, colourful covers! (If I'm totally honest, I think I prefer the old black paperbacks, but the new ones are also very nice and exciting in their novelty.)

I've been working my way through In One Person by John Irving, which is the first book I've read by this author. It's an enjoyable, character-based novel, which hops around the protagonist's timeline, from his teenage years at school, to travelling Europe as an adult, various lovers, male and female, and back to his childhood spent around the amateur theatre company his family were part of. The narrative seems to be arranged by theme rather than chronology, and gives an idea of how a person's character is formed by people and events throughout one's lifetime. I had planned to read a lot more this evening, but phoned my sister and ended up chatting for nearly an hour. I'd like to get to about page 400 before bedtime, though.

Bout of Books 8.0: Wednesday (including Book Blogger 15-Day Challenge: Day Twelve)

6.30PM

After my lovely long weekend, I returned to work today, where I have been surrounded by books and yet unable to read them. (If I owned my own business, I totally would, but as I am a mere minion, and not the mischievous yellow kind, it would be unwise.) It's been a pretty quiet day, with few jobs to do and none really urgent, and a lovely sunny day, so that most of our potential customers had better things to do than traipse around the shops. In many ways I prefer it when it's quiet, though the day passes slower, and I tend to disappear into my own head a bit. Today I found myself going back over Sunday's events, remembering little details I barely noticed at the time, such as the texture of Neil Gaiman's jacket and the awkward little shuffle-dance we did when he'd put his arm round me to pose for a photo, then realised that we were facing the wrong direction and the sun would ruin the picture. (Maybe I will stop bragging about Sunday by the end of the year. But NEIL GAIMAN, ladies and gentlemen!)

I found two more books at work to add to my wish-list: The Never List by Koethi Zan, and I Am Pilgrim by Terry Hayes, both of which are fairly new releases and only in hardback at present.

My best friend met me at lunch time, so as yet I haven't got any reading done today (which I will rectify once I've finished this update.) However, last night I began John Irving's most recent novel: In One Person. It seems to be about a man looking back over his life and loves, a character-driven novel. Narrator Billy has recounted the story of his parents' short-lived love affair and marriage, and there is some wonderfully vivid library-love (and librarian-love; Billy's first crush was on librarian Miss Frost.)

TBR Pile mini-challenge

Today's challenge is hosted by the lovely Ellie (and if you don't follow her blog, why not?) who asks:

Which 5 books are on top of your TBR (to be read) pile at this moment? and

If I gave you a wad of cash and sent you into a bookshop right now, which 5 books would you buy to add to the stack?

Well, thanks to some recent time off work and now this readathon, my to-read pile is becoming shamefully manageable, and therefore it must be about time for another splurge. However, that must wait until pay day; After buying and borrowing over 30 books in just over two months, I have forbidden myself to add to the pile until September.

Top of the pile are:

1. The Cuckoo's Calling by "Robert Galbraith."
2. Necropolis by Catharine Arnold
3. Perdido Street Station by China Mieville
4. The Secret Keeper by Kate Morton
5. Marshmallows for Breakfast by Dorothy Koomson 

(I may, however, sneak a Gaiman reread after 3 or 4, however. It feels like time to reread Good Omens, Stardust or perhaps some of his short stories.)

And if you gave me money and told me to go wild in the bookshop, it would be difficult to know where to start (since adding a wishlist to the sidebar of my blog, it seems to change and increase on a daily basis.) Of course the two I added to the list today must be included. This is the list today. Tomorrow it could change.

1. The Never List - Koethi Zan
2. I am Pilgrim - Terry Hayes
3. Quiet - Susan Cain
4. Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (and other concerns) - Mindy Kaling 
5. Longbourn - Jo Baker.

15-day Book Blogger Challenge

Day 12: How do you fight blogger fatigue

If I'm really struggling to get a lot of reading or blogging done, I think it's good to take a break. After all, I read and write because I enjoy it, and if I'm completely uninspired, then forcing myself to read lots of books quickly doesn't help matters. This is one reason I rarely accept review books from the publishers: I'd rather read and review in my own time than to be held to a schedule. Instead, I allow myself a little time out to reread an old favourite and perhaps catch up on some DVD boxsets and films. Memes such as Top Ten Tuesdays and blog hops with discussion questions can be good to keep my blog going in times of blogger fatigue, and can prompt ideas for other posts, reminding me of the stories I love and what it is that makes me excited about them.

Bout of Books 8.0: Tuesday

12.10PM

Yesterday's Bout of Books did not produce amazing results for me, but at least I finally finished that Lovecraft book. I found the stories effective and creepy, once I'd got used to the prose, but this is an author who requires a lot of concentration; something I was lacking this weekend.

Today is another day off work for me, and I've had a lot more success reading Reconstructing Amelia in the garden by Kimberley McCreight. (I keep wanting to call it Finding Amelia for some reason, so if that alternative title turns up on the blog - sorry.) This book shows a mother trying to come to terms with her grief and uncover the mysteries surrounding the death of her teenage daughter. At first, it seems that Amelia committed suicide, a thing that her mother Kate can barely get her head around. And then evidence comes to light to suggest that Amelia was murdered.

McCreight uses a mixture of narrative techniques in the uncovering of the mystery, alternating between traditional third-person, past-tense scenes following Kate in November, snippets of text messages, emails and Facebook updates which are uncovered in the investigation, and flashback chapters from Amelia's point of view, which are told in the first person, as if in a diary. These last seem a bit strange to me, as the most intimate and personal voice is that of someone who is no longer around to have a voice. Still, I guess that's the point of the novel: to get posthumously reacquainted with Amelia as a person, rather than as the daughter Kate thought she was. The novel demonstrates the challenges of bringing up a daughter in the contemporary world, especially as a professional single parent, and showing how even a good mother-daughter relationship can hide secrets. Can a mother really know her daughter?

4:30 PM

Finished Reconstructing Amelia, which turned out to be a satisfying mystery (if some characters' actions were somewhat unlikely. Clues were sprinkled throughout the book like a jigsaw puzzle: you might figure out some answers before being told, but it is not until the end that you find out how they all fit together.

I used to want to have a family of my own, somewhen, but in the last few years I've sadly come to realise that I don't think I could be bear to be responsible for bringing up children with the world as it is today. Reconstructing Amelia reinforces that. The world has always been a horrifying and wild place for teenagers - see Lord of the Flies and Heathers, just as a couple of examples. But in this age of inescapable internet, smartphones, and a somewhat self-obsessed culture that encourages everyone to share everything with the world (says the blogger!) the teen's senses of immortality, independence and indiscretion, combined with perhaps not as much wisdom as one might think, can be explosive. We see the results on the news from time to time, and Reconstructing Amelia gives a fictional, extreme, but far from unprecedented example. (And I apologise if this sounds patronising to teenagers. It's not meant that way. I am just grateful that there was no such thing as Facebook when I was a kid and that my internet activities were limited to fangirling on boybands' forums, printing photos of said boyband members, and writing the occasional terrible fanfiction and angsty poetry. Who knows what might be out there if I'd had a Twitter account at fifteen?)